WHY BEREAVEMENT?

Death is one of the most pervasive realities of our lives. Typically, we simply ignore it.

In the simplest of terms, we experience some form of death every day. Many of these “deaths” are so small we don’t think of them in this way. Others are significant but again, are thought of in other terms. For example, the transition from being single to being married is a form of death: We die to being single and move into being married. When we are blessed with a baby, we die to being childless and are born into the joy of parenthood. When we move to an exciting new job, we die to the friends and routine of where we were. When we experience serious or life threatening health issues, we die to the naivety that we will live forever. In this way, some “deaths” we seek out – new relationships, new homes, new jobs. Some we do not – loss of employment, health, or relationships. The most challenging is the death of a beloved family member, dear friend, or remarkable pet.

In March 2003, my son Jim died suddenly at the age of 35. During the months and years following his death, I began to see many things in a new way. Over time, I recalled every death I’ve experienced including that of a baby, Jessica, who died when Jim was very young. Two brothers have died as well as my father, grandparents and dear friends. I began to see the loss of my health and former career in new ways. As the idea of these little and large deaths took stronger form, I turned more fully to see what death had to teach me.

Soon after Jim’s death, my husband Tom and I joined The Compassionate Friends Chapter in Baltimore www.baltimoretcf.com.
The mission of The Compassionate Friends is:
       To assist families toward the positive resolution of grief following the death of a child of any age and to provide information to help others be supportive.

We now serve as members of our chapter’s Steering Committee and I am the Regional Coordinator for Maryland and Delaware. We also built, launched and maintain our chapter website in Jim and Jessie’s memory

Before Jim died, we believed that the death of a child was the exception. Yet month after month, year after year, we meet newly bereaved parents. We now understand that at any given time there are over 20,000,000 bereaved parents in the United States alone. It simply makes sense to include bereavement in the work I do in honor of my personal mission statement: to reduce suffering in the world one personal at a time.

As a bereaved parent, I offer:

• Speaking engagements
  • Public Awareness – Normalizing the reality of how often the death of a child occurs. As with any other reality in our lives today – “stuff” happens. The more informed we are - the better choices we can make as employers, clergy, family and friends.
  • Bereaved families - learn how to support each other, ways to reinvest parenting energy after the loss of a child especially in the case of only children, how life continues and makes sense in new ways (and many more customized topics).
• One on one personal support to other bereaved parents.
• Group support specifically for parents whose children died as a result of substance use.